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Bully-in-Chief

Frank LoBuono recalls what it felt like being bullied as he gives President Trump the title Bully-in-Chief

When I was a kid, right up through adolescence, I felt like I was bullied
mercilessly. At least it was “merciless” in my own mind so that even after the
passage of these many years, I still remember it. The lessons I learned then
made me the person I am today. And one of those lessons was how to deal
with a bully.

Unlike most of the men in my family who were my role models and were
“robust”, I was thin. Painfully so. More accurate descriptions and the ones
used most frequently were “skinny” and “scrawny”.  And I hated it. However,
despite my frail frame I was quick and athletic. Taking after my father and
uncle, I played lots of sports, too. But I was so damned boney that despite by
athletic skills, I never looked the part of the “buffed” athlete and suffered the
indignity of being teased about it constantly. I also have a somewhat unusual
sir name that the other kids would have a good time with trying to find ways to
come up with insulting pseudonyms.

Combine these things with growing up in a lower-middle class New Jersey
neighborhood with lots of kids, and you get the perfect environment for the
development for those who bully, those who allow them to flourish, and those
who choose to fight back. I was a member of the last category.

I was taught very clearly by BOTH of my parents to live by a code that
includes resisting anyone that violated the tenets of that code. They are as
follows:

1.        Never BE the bully and walk away from a fight if you can. You’ll know
when.
2.        Never allow ANYONE to put their hands on you without your permission.
3.        Never allow anyone to degrade you or your family with insults.
           “Words can never hurt me” to a point. You will know what it is.
4.        Never quit.
5.        Always stand for what is right and defend others weaker than yourself.
6.        Always fight ferociously when necessary.
7.        Always walk with your head held high. No one is better than you, or you
them.

You see, I was never that tough, so I don’t think I won many – if any – of those
fights against bullies. But, winning is not ultimately what’s most important.
Resisting is.  It eventually became clear to bullies far and wide that if you
violated any one of these principles, you’d have to deal with me. Even if you
could beat the crap out of me, I’ll fight you today, tomorrow, the day after that,
and so forth. They knew that. I don’t know exactly why but, at some point, they
didn’t bother me so much any more. Perhaps it was simply because they got
tired of beating me up. Whatever. One way or the other, I EARNED respect
and they left me alone. I can’t speak to others, but it has always held true for
me.

These principles have served me well for nearly 70 years and I will continue to
apply them for as long as I live. And, under the current conditions and
Administration, I’ll need them now more than ever. It’s become more obvious
than ever that this County is being run by a bully.

The fact that Donald Trump is exposing himself as The Bully-in-Chief does not
surprise me in the least. As a New Yorker, I have known that about Mr. Trump
LONG before he expressed his political aspirations. That was obvious from
the beginning of his public life and reinforced by his starring role in one of the
ultimate bully-themed shows of them all, The Apprentice. Remember, he took
great joy in someone losing their job by uttering the phrase, you’re fired! As
President he has been no different, issuing draconian orders to implement his
(and his cronies’) version of America.

What does surprise and disappoint me is the growing number of Americans
who support this boorish behavior, especially when it comes to the issues of
immigration, and particularly our Southern Border. Look, I get it! Trump
campaigned and was elected promising to do exactly what he is doing now.
And we must admit the fact that most Americans, including me, acknowledge
a broken immigration system that is in desperate need of repair.

However, I, and many others, are NOT OK with how this is being done. Simply
put, the entire process seems to have been conceived to create the maximum
amount of cruelty in its execution. Because it is a MASS deportation, it’s like a
huge fishing net that scoops up the intended catch while a whole bunch of
other fish also get consumed in the process! Sure, arrest and deport the
criminals that HAVE filtered into our communities. Good riddance. We
SHOULD have been doing that all along. But to terrorize thousands of
innocents to catch a few desperadoes is just plain wrong.  Besides, as is
being revealed as this story unfolds, it will have a profound effect on our
economy by removing essential workers from key industries.

To further his add to the misery, the President has also attempted to end
the Constitutional Birthright clause granting anyone born here American
citizenship, potentially devastating innocent children and their families. And
just to make things extra nasty, Mr. Trump has now authorized Federal
Immigration agents to conduct raids in churches and schools. Yes, that’s right,
SCHOOLS. Yes, let’s bring lots of men with combat gear and guns into our
schools. JEEZ!!!

Some who read this will have absolutely no issue with how this is being done.
All that is important to them is that it IS being done. But I counter with this; just
because we can doesn’t mean that we should. It’s cruel and contrary to the
very essence of what it means to be an American.

There MUST be a better way- and there IS – if we can change our mindset.
Instead of spending $ millions and losing $ millions more on heartless
measures, how about Congress getting off their butts and passing legislation
that addresses this crisis and provides a real pathway to citizenship?
And there are many other things that are being implemented (and largely
supported) that seem to have been chosen mostly for their cruelty. Another
particularly egregious act was declaring that the US government will support
only 2 birth genders, male and female. Mr. Trump went even further and
signed an Executive Order mandating all Transgender people in Federal
prisons be transferred to the facility assigned to their birth gender. Do people
know what will happen to these folks? They are human beings, our brothers
and sisters.

And, in a recent development, the President has issued an Executive Order
banning transgender individuals from serving in any branch of the military.
Hell, over 4,000 trans people are currently serving with honor and distinction.
The list of his mean-spirited and largely inane if not insane Executive Orders
is too long to complete in this post.

Why does he do it? Because he CAN (if we let them!). That’s what BULLIES
do!!

It comes down to our national ethos. WHO ARE WE? Are we represented by
the Lady with The Lamp who lights the way to freedom and equality for all? Or
are we so thoughtless, so callous as to be led by an overbearing, bloated,
cruel, BULLY who seems to believe that he was elected king?

Resistance against this emerging menace, this tide of cruelty, takes enormous
effort. I know it gets me down. And as more and more people fall prey to their
more basic instincts, as prodded by The Bully in Chief, the more difficult it
seems to Fight The Power. But we must. Otherwise, the bully wins and smiles
that cheese-eating grin. I will not let that happen. Never did. Never will.  I
can’t.

Let me leave you some of the greatest song lyrics ever created for some
inspiration. The were written by Paul Simon for his song “The Boxer”:
In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade and he carries
the reminders of ever glove that laid him down or cut him until he cried
in his anger and his shame, I AM LEAVING, I AM LEAVING! But the
fighter still remains.

Frank LoBuono is a Nyack Resident, photographer, blogger and retired CBS News journalist.

Editor’s note: The views expressed in this article are those of this independent writer and not the Nyack News & Views editorial staff. We welcome submissions from anybody who is interested in publishing their thoughts, ideas and perspectives about issues facing our community, both large and small. Please send to info@nyacknewsandviews.com with detailed contact information.

Photo credit: Frank LoBuono



Nyack People & Places, a weekly series that features photos and profiles of citizens and scenes near Nyack, NY, is sponsored by Ellis Sotheby’s International Realty.


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