It’s a weird, offbeat year to vote. You may or–just as likely–may not have heard that there’s an election coming up on November 7th and that several local offices will be contested. I’ve been talking about the election ad nauseam for a few weeks now (okay, months). I’ve been posting about my own favorite current candidate on social media even more than I’ve been posting about my own kid (really).
What I’m trying to say is: I’m sorry. Even I am getting kind of sick of my election proselytizing. So I’ve been trying to figure out more creative ways to remind my friends, family, and acquaintances about our civic responsibility. I’m sharing these suggestions just in case you too have a strong predilection for freedom and also see voting as the string that holds this whole sweater together.
1. Send out one of those popular electronic invitations:
You are cordially invited to join me in a celebration of democracy!
When: November 7, 2017, 6AM-9PM
Where: Your polling place
Bring Your Own: Brain, Hands, Suffrage, Power of Discernment
No need to “RSVP” but if you don’t attend, I will hereby declare you “DTM” (Dead To Me)
Hope you can make it!!
2. Slip the date into any and all scheduling conversations whether it makes sense or not.
Example 1: “Oh, the dentist has an opening on December 10? Let me see, let me see. (Flipping through calendar….) Oh, that’s right, the election’s on November 7, so that should be fine.”
Example 2: “I’m sorry, we won’t be able to make it to Thanksgiving this year. We’re canceling all of our social engagements in the month of November in order to focus on the election on the seventh. I’ll let you know if that changes, but I doubt it.”
3. Incorporate election awareness seamlessly into Halloween festivities:
Instead of giving out candy, give out tiny calendars with the date circled in red, white and blue glitter.
Or, give out wholesome oatmeal cookies with the words VOTE NOV 7 spelled out in raisins.
Or, carve this important information into the zest of a heart-healthy orange.
Of course, the trick-or-treaters will be disappointed. But won’t they be even more disappointed if their parents fail to uphold the lofty ideals this country was founded upon?
4. Sandwich Board:
They’re not stylish, and they’re not easy to drive in or do yoga in, but they do get the point across effectively, especially if the messaging includes a guilt trip. Try: If you don’t vote, I’ll hold you personally responsible for everything that goes wrong in the next two to four years. Fine print: But yeah, if you’re okay with that, then by all means, just stay home and watch Cupcake Wars all day.
5. Play the lottery numbers, 11, 7, and 17 every day:
Just think, if you win zillions of dollars with this sequence, you can publicize this quirky fact widely. Not to mention that you can donate a large portion of your winnings to campaigns. A zillion dollars could buy quite a few lawn signs, mailers, and car magnets.
I would share more ideas, but I’m off to get a very specific tattoo on my chin, my collarbone, and that small but very noticeable space between my eyebrows. Anyway, I’ll see you November 7th. I’ll be the woman on your front stoop with a megaphone, reminding you in 14 different languages that you possess a vast and inviolable power, as long as you decide to get to the polls and harness it. (NOV 7th, 2017.)
Jocelyn Jane Cox is a freelance writer and figure skating coach. Her humor book The Homeowner’s Guide to Greatness was an Amazon bestseller. Her humor has appeared on Slate, The Home Tome, among other publications. She writes The Chronicles of Parenting, a bi-monthly column for Nyack News & Views.