Chronicles of Parenting: Interview with a Backpack

It’s back-to-school season. Columnist Jocelyn Jane Cox scored an exclusive interview with an important player in your child’s September Student Experience: a backpack.
JJC: First off, Backpack, thanks for sitting down with us today, we know back-to-school is a busy time for you. How does it feel to be chosen, amid all the other backpacks out there?
BP: I have to admit, it feels pretty good. I mean, I knew I had solid construction and I knew I was the perfect size for a pre-schooler. But of course, the obvious tipping point is this little cohort of colorful robots going beep-boop-beep-boop across the fabric.
JJC: So, here it is! How do you feel now that the new school year is starting?
BP: Like the kids, I’m excited and also nervous. I realize this isn’t going to be easy.
JJC: What are your biggest concerns moving forward?
BP: Well, obviously, I’m going to take a beating. There will be spills. There will be rips. I might get stepped on. These don’t really faze me. What scares me the most is getting left behind and forgotten all together.
JJC: We noticed that you have a label inside for the child’s name. Does this provide any solace?
BP: It certainly does. However, if I get abandoned somewhere, it does require that the right person finds me. Basically, if this happens, my only hope is to be discovered by a good Samaritan.
JJC: What are your goals for this year?
BP: My goals are not lofty. I’m in the business of transport: soiled clothes, still-wet art projects, and half-eaten snacks. If I can safely carry these items from point A to point B, then I have done my job. And if, just if…I am reliable enough and help make this experience a little more fun…if I play a small role in sparking the imagination and curiosity of a young, growing mind…well then, that? That’s bonus.
JJC: Forgive our punning, but what’s the straw that would break the camel’s back…pack?
BP: Books. I definitely don’t do books, no no no no. Too heavy; they’ll strain my straps. I’m a big fan of the digital age.

Freelance writer and author Jocelyn Jane Cox reports on the Great State of Parenthood with advice you never knew you needed and the chuckles you know you really need every other week in the Chronicles of Parenting. Her 2012 humor book on life in the New York suburbs, The Homeowner’s Guide to Greatness: How to handle natural disasters, design dilemmas and various infestations, is available on Amazon.com. Follow her on Twitter at @JocelynJaneCox.

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