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Chronicles of Parenting

Chronicles of Parenting: If You Give a Kid a Cupcake…

by Jocelyn Jane Cox
We love a good birthday party and we love a good cupcake. We also love Laura Joffe Numeroff’s 1985 classic children’s book,  If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. The If you give a kid a cupcakecombination of all these predilections has recently caused me to make some observations.
Basically, if you give a kid a cupcake…
The act of peeling off the paper will kick off a mess of Olympic proportions. Consider this the “opening ceremonies.”
Your child will probably reject all of your own cupcake methodologies and suggestions and instead eat it from the top down, i.e. frosting first, then cake, with no desire whatsoever to more sensibly combine frosting and cake in the same bites.
Said frosting – whether blue or green or red – will cause the tongue, lips, teeth, cheeks, and maybe even forehead to turn the corresponding hue and remain that way indefinitely.
The same fate may “befall” the shirt, the shorts, and even, in some cases, the shoes. Sometimes these stains come out in the wash after rigorous scrubbing… sometimes they don’t.
A pool of crumbs will accumulate in a wide circumference around the child’s chair.
The sugar content will cause an already-robust energy level to spike. As you have been fearing for a while, this might help the child’s mission to successfully take off on an invisible rocket ship straight through the roof.
The afternoon nap you scheduled and had been counting on in order to take care of some pressing paperwork very likely will not happen.
When finished with the cupcake, your child will be compelled to ask for another. The tone of voice will be almost as sweet as the treat itself. A colorful smile will  spread across his or her face. And your heart will most certainly melt.
“No, no, ” you will say, “Most definitely not.”

Jocelyn Jane Cox. Photo Credit: ©2015 Dave ZornowFreelance writer and author Jocelyn Jane Cox reports on the Great State of Parenthood with advice you never knew you needed and the chuckles you know you really need every other week in the Chronicles of Parenting. Her 2012 humor book on life in the New York suburbs, The Homeowner’s Guide to Greatness: How to handle natural disasters, design dilemmas and various infestations, is available on Amazon.com. Follow her on Twitter at @JocelynJaneCox.

The Chronicles of Parenting is sponsored by The Palisades Center, your one-stop-shop for fun. Come to the Palisades Center for Munchkin Mondays, childrens’ concerts throughout the summer in the East Court on Level 1 near H&M and Uniqlo. See the complete schedule of events at PalisadesCenter.com.

 

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