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Descartes on Nyack

by JC Brotherhood

According to some here in town, Nyack’s own Cartesian axiom would be: ‘€œI Drink, therefore I am.” So, ‘€œanarchy’€ would not have been the word I’d have chosen; it indicates too noble an ideology.

Debauchery would be more accurate.

Who vets the thugs that provide this ‘€œgreat security and excellent crowd control’€ I am reading about? Where are they from and what credentials to they present to act as ‘€œsecurity professionals’€, WWF? Nah, WWF insists on better hair and costumes.

It’s been my experience that these guys are more often than not the cause and not the cure for the fights in Nyack.  One common ploy is to let the Girlfriend through the door but deny the Boyfriend access because it’s ‘€œtoo crowded’€ (hmmmm). When the Girlfriend doesn’t return and the Boyfriend protests they dog trash him (three on one) and then drop the dime on him to O’town who graciously oblige them.

Nice work if you can get it.

People have been assaulted opening up for business early on at least one occasion by remnants of the night’s drunken mob. This is supposed to attract new business to Nyack?

One of my daughters frequently takes the early TZX bus and walks through the Village between 4;30 and 5:00. She’s often accosted on her way to work on Friday or Saturday mornings.  I drive here when our schedules coincide.

Just as frequently I will arrive home from work at 3:30 or 4:00 AM to be treated to the sight of both men and women relieving themselves behind the mailbox on Franklin and Main.

Normally I politely render my High-beams to assist them in not anointing themselves in the process and am usually rewarded with the ubiquitous middle finger wave for my pains, whereupon they usually anoint all over themselves.

What a nice, attractive group of people we cater to at night.

So forgive me if I respectfully disagree with Ms. Olive’s assessment of the vital nature of Nyack’s nightlife. The state liquor authority has had its regulatory teeth pulled so it’s very rare to have a license revoked for cause these days. You have to be way beyond ‘€œvisibly intoxicated’€ (read floored) to be denied service in Nyack.

Could one contributing factor for the empty shops on main St. be the former storeowners simply grew tired of paying exorbitant rents only to have to clean up the vomit in their doorways in the morning?

Specious comparisons to destinations like Provincetown or Greenwich Village notwithstanding Nyack has an acute identity crisis. There is a basic disconnect between how it sees itself and the reality of how others perceive it.  It’s my observation that instead of moving away from it’s bad old days (I too was here briefly in the 70s) Nyack seems to be hell bent on re-living them.

Its going to take a lot more than Happy Hour promotions or loud music until 2am to revitalize the downtown. Nyack has to decide what it wants.

You can’t be a virgin during the day and a prostitute at night.

Apparently the nighttime persona pays better.

See also: Downtown Thrives – Minus The Anarchy (9/23), Anarchy In Nyack (9/20)

Nyack People & Places, a weekly series that features photos and profiles of citizens and scenes near Nyack, NY, is sponsored by Sun River Health.

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